The Most Craptastic ad ever in a Gaming Mag

Usually I'm a live and let live kinda guy, but this one made me roll my eyes so hard they almost popped out the back of my skull... THE DRAGONMASTER'S RING!!!!

How did I come across this? A brief bit of background: one of my most treasured gaming materials is my run of Dungeon from issues #1 through #81; encompassing the entirety of 1st and 2nd Edition AD&D adventures. in sadi mag. It took my years, but I got them all, Dungeon is an amazing resource. When grogs complain "there are no good 2nd Edition adventures" I point them to this excellent resource.

But I digress: last week I had a flood as the sump pump float in the basement  got stuck. Long story short I thought my Dungeon mags were safe inside their plastic tote and plastic bags to boot. I was wrong there was a small hole in the bottom of the tote. So, I've spent the last week and a boatload of electricity with the fans, the dehumidifier and my wife's hairdryer drying the basement and said Dungeon mags. In the process I come across issue #79 and find this "gem".

Here is the monstrosity of which I speak.

There is so much that is just wrong with this visual. Shouldn't this guy be in one of the man-bands of the late 90s or something rather than playing role-playing games? There are no words other than what ass-hat would be wearing this thing and looking like this guy??? The Franklin Mint really outdid itself with this tool. I really like the tag line: "The Secrets of the Universe are Within Your Grasp." Thanks god for that! Within my grasp you say???? And just $195, exclusively from the Franklin Mint???? Sign me up! And I'm fairly certain most "Dragon Masters" don't look like Vinnie from the club.

Ugh.